Husbands, what are the signs that your wife is unhappily married to you?
But when a woman shows signs of being unhappy over an extended period, husbands you must take decisive action immediately. The happiness and longevity of your marriage depend on it.
Men, how can you tell if your wife is unhappy with you, with herself, or with life in general?
It is a stereotypical fact that most women like to talk. If a woman does not communicate, usually it means she has something on her mind that is bothering her. Not all women fit this description, but many fit well into behavioral factors of being unhappy for one reason or another.
As I present these behavioral factors indicative that a wife is unhappy, I need to make one important note: the signs of unhappiness presented in this blog are based on behaviors or feelings sustained over a period of time that leads the wife to coping in the marriage. These behavioral factors do not pertain to the normal marital challenges such as when she conveys what’s bothering her in the moment or complaints that you work too much.
Sign #1: You want her to be like you. She is not you. She’s your wife not your twin. God created her with unique wirings for her personality. For example, you have an argument/discussion and can't imagine why she did something. You ask her, “Why would you do that?” You think, “I’d never do that.” Because she’s not like you. That’s why you married her. Her different personality was attractive to you when you were dating her. But as your wife, you want her to respond, think, and act in a way that you prefer. While this expectation isn’t unreasonable, she won’t operate the way you want her to. This is an important matter to understand because it will make your life better.
Sign #2: You don’t do what you say you’re going to do. When you say you’re going to do something and you don’t, this is eroding her trust in you. Then what happens? She starts to nag (nag is to annoy or irritate (a person) with persistent fault-finding or continuous urging). So, here’s the deal. She doesn’t want to nag, but she’s trying to hold you to be the man you’re supposed to be.
Sign #3: You take her for granted. That is, you fail to properly appreciate her. You have become overly familiar with your wife's every move (and vice-versa) and don’t value her as much as you used to. Remember, she is the one you said you would move heaven and earth for. Now you behave as if she’s not your priority, constantly making excuses or fouling up continuously. She will draw her own conclusions about your behavior.
Sign #4: You don’t have a vision for your family. Or put another way, you have not brought your marriage together in unity with common goals to grow together spiritually, financially, and intimately. She knows you do not have a plan for today, tomorrow, or 5 years from now for where you want your family to be. Over time, she will stop believing you.
Sign #5: You let yourself go. The “younger you” took pride in your grooming, your physique, and your hygiene. She isn’t looking for you to be a fashion icon, but to represent her and yourself with class. You used to work out and now all you do is pig out. You used to dress up and now you’re all messed up. Sir, if you look in the mirror and don’t like what you see, you need to fix that. She sees it too.
Sign #6: She’s overworked. These are the unspoken characteristics of a dynamic wife: she takes care of the house; she cooks for the family; she takes care of the kids; she shuttles kids back and forth; she might work a job; she works out to look good for herself and for you; sir, please take some things off her plate.
Sign #7: She doesn’t have sex with me. Sir, when does she have time?
Sign #8: You’ve closed her off from you. A wife needs to know how you feel about yourself; she wants connection with you; but when she suspects something isn’t right, she will resort to her sixth sense, her God-given intuition, to figure out why you withdraw from her.
It would be wise for you, husband, to remember the wisdom found in Proverbs 18:22: “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.”
Marriage comes with a natural flow of good times, tough times, loving, and fighting. But when a woman shows signs of being unhappy over an extended period, husbands you must take decisive action immediately. The happiness and longevity of your marriage depend on it.