Honest feelings about Father's Day not found on a Hallmark card

These two holidays are on the continuum of good to great TO take them away TO dad who, mom who? You and I are someone on this continuum in our relationship to our father or mother.


If you come from a healthy family where your father and mother embodied loving care, maturity, and selflessness, most likely you are a well-adjusted adult. This is just one type of family structure that produces well-adjusted adults. Findings reveal more and more that single moms and dads are producing well-adjusted adults as well (history favors moms; little research has spotlighted dads). Then there are individuals who grew up with neither their dad or mom. They could be adopted, fostered, or self-raised. Their backgrounds did not stop them from becoming a well-adjusted adult. As we know, it is not how an individual starts but how he/she finishes. And I'll add to this adage. If individuals remain teachable and humble, they can supersede their troublesome beginnings. Who am I writing to? Can you relate?

HAPPY BELATED FATHER'S DAY to you if you are blessed to be a father. In retrospect, Father's Day just like Mother's Day is an emotional imbroglio for many of us. Some people loathe these two days, not paying much attention to their honor. While others have deep cherished moments that warrant celebrating their dad or mom. These two holidays are on the continuum of good to great TO take them away TO dad who, mom who? You and I are someone on this continuum in our relationship to our father or mother.

What are those sentiments we won't find on a Hallmark card but, they are just as valid as those expensive accolades we purchase to speak for us on Father's Day. (I've really gotten into the $1 greetings cards. They share loving sentiments but for a fraction of the price).

Here are some non-Hallmark sentiments that are real and speaks for some of us:

Dad: I wish I didn't have to work so hard for your love and approval. I wish you could have been less critical of yourself, so you could be more loving towards me.

Pops: You caused me so much pain, and I'm still angry about it. You've never apologized to me and I deserve a lot better. You have never own your role, but I still hold out, hoping that one day you will see the destruction you caused.

Daddy: On this Father's Day, I am reminded that you're not here anymore. I wish I could pick up the phone and call you. It's really hard to see everyone talk about their dad today. I miss you.

Father: We never really connect like a father and child should. You were physically there, but you had a wall up. I wish you weren't so full of shame and shut down. I would have loved to know you as a person.

Dad: I've become more aware of how hard your life is and it makes me so sad. You repeated what you knew. I hope you know I love you, and I am working on forgiving you. Hopefully we can build a healthier relationship someday.

Dad: I know you were loving, but I wished were more demonstrative in showing it.

These sentiments are containers within some of our hearts. No warm and fuzzy Hallmark fluff-fluff. We have been a work in progress and perhaps so have our dads.

Our earthly fathers are limited and flawed even the best of them. We all understand this fact. Just as true, our Heavenly Father is not flawed. He is the father of all fathers. He loves and cares for us perfectly. Imagine it! Who can we say loves us perfectly and will continue to love us forever? Our Heavenly Father does. . .

We don't have to allow Father's Day, Mother's Day, or any other holiday to be the trophy of our sad reflections. We don't have to sulk amidst the celebrations over good dads. That is those people's stories and good for them. No hating and no shading.

WE. SHOULD. RELISH. our Heavenly Father who is father of all fathers. Take peace in Him. Take refuge over our past hurts in Him.

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